I don't know right now..

I'm not sure what to think about anymore, I feel so befuddled of thoughts, and just rants throughout my brain, and I'm just not sure of "what" emotion I should be feeling right now. Between depression and all the meds, and just the stress from school alone, I've had enough of it. I need some Jesus right now, and I think there are some other concerns such as my friends mother has cervical cancer and shes a really nice person, so I hope things really get better for her, and when I heard her speak today, she just didn't sound so positive about where things are going with this, because she thought it was cured. So I'm just a bit worried about that...And then of course my best friend Christina, whom I know will read this and go, "Mmhmm", is stuck in Tennessee, on lock down within her household which sucks big time, and she just feels as though her car is broken down on the highway with no spare tire...

Anyone reading this, I just really need some prayers, and not to mention my own personal crap thats going on doesn't help the situation, and just...I don't know. I'm really trying to fulfill my duty to God, it just gets so difficult sometimes to feel motivated when school work blocks that "level" of enthusiasm.
I want to just live somewhere peaceful, focus on the Lord, and live a nice life....

I also want to mention that right now I'm feeling as though I'm stupid, for example, Why is it I do so poorly on my tests in school? I study. I read. I listen in class. I mean am I an idiot? or what? it frustrates me like mad. People who fart around in class get A's when I'm someone working my butt off for the B? I mean um correct me if I'm wrong but does something seem screwed up here? Then there is of course this whole change of Schools, that was a huge mistake, and I can't do anything about it - but cope with it. Good thing I've learned to master with coping from the past...or I'd be throwing in the flag right about now. These kids annoy me, and makes me want to hit one of them in the face, and its a very "cultural" school, and there is just no chance of "friend-making" for me. Not to mention that my trust levels aren't exactly easy to get. So pray that this school year goes by quickly for me...2nd Semester here I come....oh joy. :/

Loves me some Jesus

yeah, so I went to the Pasadena Assembly of God Church this morning, and it was actually pretty awesome, everyone was very nice, and considerate, and I don't know how many times I was greeted, I really noticed a great fellowship there. Todays message was talking about Prayer, which I thought was legit, and the songs they played at the start of the service were very good. I felt a bit of the Holy Spirit I'd say, and I even thought about my 2 best friends, Amber and Christina while being there, which made me a bit sad. But when I thought about how I am nothing without God, then I remembered that as long as I have Him in my life, I will get through any depressions of missing some of my best friends. :/ If you are curious about attending a new church, or going to church for the first time, or just wanna be saved and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, I would recommend getting involved here, its a decent and nice Church. Here is the site for all information:

http://pasadenaag.org/

+ God Bless +

Faith has to do with things that are not seen and hope with things that are not at hand.

So I've came to this conclusion that school really does take out too much of my life, and I would like to spend all day after school working on Theology studies, but no, I can't, I have studying to do, and essays to write, and study guides to complete, and text book problems to solve...So if you can't tell, I'm kinda stressed out, and apparently according to my AP Psychology text book, Stress can kill you..So somehow, I'm thinking I need to surpass this school work, and start praying more, so this stress decreases. I feel soar, tired, and like my weeks have nothing else in them, but more WORK. And its not even the fact that I can't do this work, its just very time consuming of my relationship with God, if you understand what I mean, all you Christian FaithFreaks out there. lol Anyway...

I felt like I needed another Blog, thought I'd talk about whats recently on my mind..

Got Calvinism?

Well, my good friend, Christina, enlightened me up on the debate of Calvinism, and honestly the beliefs aren't really that strange as some like to proclaim it to be. I'm surprised this theory isn't expressed more. So far I've looked in on the doctrine of Total Depravity, and I agree with about 99 percent of what is being preached. If you read certain scriptures out of the Bible, you will see where I am coming from with my support of this doctrine, that is if you are one to disagree with me. One Bible scripture that I like that shows the support of this doctrine is,

Romans 3:10-11: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God."

I think that scripture pretty much explains the reason as to why God must predestine individuals into salvation since evidently man is incapable of choosing God. It all makes sense to me. If you just completely don't see where I am coming from, please ask me, I'll have no problem explaining my view on the matter even more in depth. Well I basically just wanted to state to every body that I have take upon an interest in the study of Calvinism and I will be purchasing my first novel soon on Calvinism to help me even understand better since this is new for me.

Went to the DIA

Today I visited the Detroit Institute of Art, I've been there several times, and its pretty awesome. Some of the "considered" works of art should not be there. I saw canvas with just red paint...That is not art to me, I also saw stones laying on the ground, once again...not Art..However, as many paintings that sucked, there were also some really interesting ones as well. Most of the Vincent Van Gogh, and Pablo Picasso stuff was pretty sweet, and there was a special exhibit on Monet and Dali which was alright. My favorite section of the Institute was the Christian Devotion section, it was full of sculptures of Jesus on the Cross, and Jesus with family, like Mary. There was images of baby Jesus which was cool. They also gave a brief description of how Christianity impacted much of the society back then, and how important it was to some of the people which was cool. Although there was also some Catholic related material art that I didn't so much agree with. There was also a painting of the image of the resurrected Christ, that was a unique picture because there was very small cuts on Jesus, and he didn't look as happy as I had imagined him, but that painting doesn't necessarily mean that is the truth, it was only one person's idea. I'm kinda curious if any of the artists might have been pastors...Most likely they were apart of the Church or Ministry, considering a lot of faith in God must have been there in order to depict Jesus in the ways they had done. I felt that the Christian art had really pointed out certain scriptures in the Bible, and I thought that was a cool way of expressing certain messages across to people that might not understand the text itself.

The Truth about Chick-Fil-A...It needs to be said

Ok - I'm pretty much fed up with chick-fil-a chicken, its gay. If you like it, you really shouldn't. The way its made is disgusting, they don't wash their hands when preparing the chicken, they don't use fresh chicken - its all stored in a container, the flour is not even white, they use dirty water to wash the dishes, they don't even clean the store or gutters properly. They pick up sauces off the floor and throw them back in the bin, I've even found lids in the ice bin that have probably been there for months - and trust me people's hands touch those lids, I've also seen bites out of the chicken -that makes me wonder, who ate that chicken? *cough* the cooks... - So to start off the place is pretty much Unsanitary to begin with.

Next I want to say that the employees are ignorant, mainly the managers, they think they own the restaurant, when its the basic employees who do all the work at the registers. If you haven't noticed yet...They barely give you any bathroom breaks, or even drink breaks, yet the managers are free to do whatever they like, and THEY get all the respect because they have a clearance card and some keys to registers. Ooh big frickin deal..you get no sick time, they force you to find someone else to work for you, EVEN if you might be in the emergency room. They don't care if you have family plans during the holidays - its ALL about them between November and December which I think is crap, they force you to stay on register, they are unfair towards paychecks, and gives certain employees who have been there for a much longer time less salary than someone who has been there for a shorter period...its ridiculous. I also have a theory that relatives of managers get more Respect opposed to someone who works their butt off....

Lastly, the customers...they are gay. They have no respect towards "us" the employees, they have no patience, even if it might be ridiculously busy out front. And they blame everything ON the cashier, when its not even our fault. Not to mention, all they do is WHINE. They always have to find some problem just to make you look like a retard, and let me say something - I am not your slave, I am an employed worker at Chick-fil-A who is WILLING to give you ignorant people food.

Congratulations Scruff McGruff, you really took that "bite" out of crime.

I wanted to share with you people about a U.S History teacher that teaches in a bias manner, and honestly should not be a teacher. He calls out your test grades in class, which is crooked, and realistically you can get fired from the job if any one was to report it. I mainly want to make the announcement about the religious content he likes to try to put out "there", but honestly he fails dramatically. He makes too many inappropriate comments about how fundamentalists are wrong, and how he doesn't even know where they are coming from when honestly he shouldn't even go there considering he was raised in a Catholic school who has priest that molest children, and how the "Catholics" didn't do anything to arrest them, and instead defended them. And Then he tries to get started on scriptures which is a huge mistake to do, because if it became a one on one battle, he would get trashed. It wouldn't even get to the second level, he tries to point out the roles of women, when he knows so little, and he tries to announce how we are all sinning at this very moment, when that is actually false if you knew the real context and quote, "Hebrew language" as Christina would say. Let me also say that he has cursed out other students, and consistently makes fun certain individuals, I also got word that he made a racist comment to an Asian student that went along the lines of this:
Student: I can't do this work
Teacher:You're Asian you should be able to do this
Call me wrong, but I consider that to be a bit racist....Well that is just some examples of ignorance that occurs in this class that needed to be announced.