Tomorrow is the day. The day I have been awaiting for. I'm getting my apartment. I'm going to be out, living completely on my own. I'm so excited. Who would have thought this day would be here so soon? I can still remember playing in my old town house neighborhood, going to the bus stop, passing the football, sledding in the snow. Now look at me. Grown up, loving Christ, and doing what God has me to do. I never saw this coming for me. I have to be honest with yall, I use to be drug addict, alcoholic, and a smoker. I use to struggle with certain sexual sins, details will stay between me and God, but I'm not ashamed to let yall know that I was a mess. I went down a nasty road. Perhaps it was my life growing up with my "lesbian" mother, perhaps it was the verbal abuse, perhaps it was my dad's apathy, perhaps it was my brother's street life, perhaps it was my clinical depression...but in all truth, the real answer lies within myself. I allowed Satan to take hold of this boy. Starting at 11 years old, things really took a spin for me. I had no idea where I was going with myself. I would cry and plead at night for relief. I never saw myself as a deans list student at Towson University. I never saw myself getting my own apartment at 20, I never saw myself associating with good peers and not negative ones. Most of all, I never saw myself with a vision to move out to California, and get a job out there, and live on the pacific coastline. God had and has this all in store for me! God is just so amazing. The things God has done for me. The state of mind He brought me out of. (Yes, I do take anti-depressants, but He led me to take them!). I can't even begin to explain my THANKS to Him. It's like a loss of words that my heart can only express. My will power wasn't enough, I needed the Spirit's power. I struggle with sin to this day. I fall into sin. But I will never allow myself to live in it again, because I'm going to stay strong with Jesus. He is the one that keeps me away. I love Him too much to allow it!
As I embark tomorrow morning on a new point in my life as a Junior at Towson, living on my own in an apartment complex, I must always keep Christ the closest. I can't allow people to separate what me and Christ have, and I believe in the promise of Romans 8:38. I'm going to be moving on with life. Another stepping stone, half way done with College. HALF-WAY! Wow. It's truly amazing. Deans list every semester so far. How crazy! This is all for the glory of God. Truthfully, I will use my degree to help the needy, to travel to places to mission to lost souls, to help out my friends. I just want to enhance the Kingdom of God in any way that I can. It turns out that in California, there are several pastors I love that live out there. I'm hoping to unite with them, and follow Christ all the more!
When I say that I'm moving on, I don't just mean with this apartment move that I make tomorrow. I'm talking about everything. I'm moving on with all old friends that are of no use to me anymore and rather ridicule my love for Jesus (I've already done this truthfully). I'm talking with family members that don't seem to respect my die hard passion for the gospel message. I'm talking about with the "next step" in life. I'm talking about with Christ. I'm moving on from one stage spiritually to the next. I'm constantly growing. This new place will allow me to proclaim God times 10! There will be no secular attraction in my home. When I'm not studying for classes, I will be giving God glory in some way for most of the time. I'm not going to say always because that is a strong word, but I do hope one day, there will be nothing that I do that doesn't give glory to the Lord. For those that read this, and for those that pray, please pray for me! Pray for strength, for a closer relationship with Christ, for God's will to be done in my life. Thanks everyone.
