When will I come back to the light?

This is kinda depressing, but I'll go on with it, lately I have not been feeling so Christian, I mean don't get me wrong, I always know who my King and Savior is, Jesus Christ, and its not the fact that I deny him as God or any of that...I mean I love Jesus, like I've said before, Disciple in Christ right here....However, lately I've been committing a handful of sins, and restepping into some of my old habits, and I'm very disappointed in myself, I wake up sometimes feeling guilty, distressed, and most importantly, I wake up with the feeling that God is upset with me. I feel like I disobey him too often, and I only wish to be pure, but being 17, going on 18 soon enough, I just want to live like a teenager, and have fun with my friends. I wish there was someway to rid of these desires, but partying is one of my weak sins, it always has been. I need a serious prayer to whoever reads this blog. I'm worried that my faith will eventually slip altogether, if I can't keep myself in check. I still find it very interesting to read my theology, and study the word, for some reason that has not changed, its just my lifestyle that seems to be going back to the way it was prior....

Sometimes I look at the sky, and think to myself, Am I saved? Then I always get that same gut feeling, "Yes" - Which is most likely being delivered from my Amazing Jesus. Because Jesus knows I still believe in Him, I just don't....well, I don't act too Holy, and what bothers me the most is that I feel like a hypocrite at times when I try to teach others about the Gospel. There have been plenty of days where I've spent just consumed in God. Ask anyone. But since summer vacation started, and I'm out of school now, there is no more book time, only "chilling" time, and I need somekind of sign from God, that EVERYTHING will be fixed in due time, and I need to know that He still has me on the list to Heaven someday. I'm afraid of what He will say to me on Judgement day, I'm just glad He looks into my heart, and sees the struggle I'm having with all this, and since I am having this struggle, I'm assuming thats a good thing, because clearly He knows I suffer with all this.

Lastly, I know many Christians will tell me, Well you need to take a leap of Faith, and Change your lifestyle. Heres the big problem that I think is really driving me crazy, As much as I really want to change into a better person, I also enjoy some of the sins I do, and I'm freaking out that I'm still in some ways, a slave to sin. I'm not saying, I approve of them, I just find them apart of me at times, and it all slips out eventually. But Thanks be to God, that we don't earn our way into heaven by the deeds we do, but by the Grace he has provided us. And I just got to keep the faith, just like Timothy has said before. I pray and repent that all of this passes over soon. Keep praying everyone. Keep praying.